All good

Sorry that I had been out of action for a few days. I caught a nasty flu being passed around in my house, and was completely bedridden and miserable. Good news is that I'm much better now, though still resting.

Even better news is that the beta tripled in the 48 hour test that I did last Saturday. No extraordinary numbers, just enough to keep my spirits high. And I am happy with that. I do use some pee sticks from time to time as a little assurance boost (they are appearing quickly and are dark now). But I've decided not to do any more blood tests. The first US has been booked for 11th August (which is too far!) and we'll just wait for that.

Of course I haven't been all calm and cool. I've been worried about how sick I was with flu. Was I making myself too hot? Was my lack of sleep causing unnecessary risks? Was the weight I lost a bad thing? So many other questions. Only time will tell. I can only do my best to try to recover quickly (all with just home remedies) and pray for the best. I reckon there's going to be a lot of worry and prayers from now on for the little one. For years. But I am also looking forward to the wonderful feelings to savor. I'm already loving the being pregnant feeling, although I have no obvious symptoms yet!


Is positive a positive?

Update: The HCG result this evening was 64. I have no idea if this is too low for me to be worried. For now, I'm keeping everything crossed that the lines get darker soon so that I can breathe a little easier. 

So I gave in just 1 day before the OTD (at 8pm!), and convinced my husband that if its a positive, it'll show in the HPT by then.  So at 10dp5dt, I got my very first two lines in the HPT! I used FRER, as I knew that the ones given by my clinic is not that sensitive. It was not FMU though of course. We were very cautiously excited though, because the second line was lot lighter than the control line.
This morning, the two HPTs from the clinic showed very very faint lines but it was there. But the FRER looked lighter than the night before, so I completely flipped out. I have gone to the doc for a BT, and will know the results in about 6 hours. Till then, I am reading similar stories in the web, and seesawing between 'its all doomed' mood to 'there's still tons of hope, why am I giving up so easily' thoughts. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers people, cause I think I am losing it...


Isn't it time?

Not much update for me, just waiting until this Thursday to POAS. Keeping my fingers crossed and prayers flowing. Progesterone 'shots' are helping to keep AF at bay, but occasional AF scares are still keeping me awake and worried. Thursday can't come soon enough for me...

In the non-IVF front, we went to a dinner at my husband's friend's place over the weekend. The friend's brother was also there, and during other random conversation about kids, he asked us (quite loudly mind you) if it wasn't time for us to have children? We tried to laugh and shrug it off. But he continued to ask my husband individually so that everyone could hear. My husband just replied with a "Yes", but this person was not satisfied. He turned to me and asked me, "Am I not right, what do you think? Isn't it time?" I gave him the worst brush off laugh that I never imagined I possessed, which was followed with some awkward silence. All of them probably assumed from my laugh, that my husband wanted a child, desperately even, while I didn't. It ruined the mood for me for the evening.  It's none of his business. If it was two three years earlier, I would be patient enough to forgive him for asking once, but even then, I would have still been irritated with him keeping on asking again an again until he got a satisfactory answer! At this point in time, I just couldn't bear it. I can never understand why people can be so tactless! It's probably the culture of our country that makes such question a gesture of 'caring', but after living in Australia for so long, it was just out of place for him. I really hope that when I make a trip back home at the end of the year, I'll have positive news so that I don't have to produce any more awkward laughs. If a 'not so close' friend's brother could make me so uncomfortable, I'm sure there will be so many other 'caring' relatives there who would make me want to burst otherwise.


Embryo on board!

Yesterday morning, I thought I was going to be slightly late for the Embryo Transfer appointment, so I at first thought of not wearing any makeup at all (not that I wear much makeup, mind you). Then I thought, today might be the first day I met my first son/daughter! So I slapped on a simplistic rather hurried makeup on :)

I had been suggested to bring a comfortably full bladder. Its hard to decide how much makes you comfortably full, as you can only gauge the comfort label closer to the ET rather than when you drink the water. It is always a race against my willpower at the ET itself. We had the lovely Dr who did our first transfer, who is rather through and likes to talk to make us feel comfortable. However, I was in no mood to talk. I wanted it to be over so that I could rush to the toilet. Can't believe that after all the wait, all I could think at the ET was hope it is over soon!

The good news is that the embryo that we had transferred was of good quality. The embryologist said hatching Grade B. I am not sure how a hatching embryo could be anything but grade A, but I don't understand my clinic's grading, so I am not going to worry about it. I was happy with the word 'hatching'. We also had two to freeze. Absolutely awesome!

So now the TWW begins, and all the mental exercise it automatically brings with it. I'll have to try to steer it to the direction that is best for all of us around and inside me :)


EPU, post EPU

I'll be short.

So we had the EPU (Egg Pick Up) yesterday as planned. No dramas, just smooth flowing. After  EPU, I hardly slept at the recovery theater, and felt like I could walk miles even though I had just got up from being sedated.

The outcome of EPU was somewhat expected. 11 eggs collected (out of 12 follicles seen), 3 of them were of good size, 3 were tiny so probably won't make it, and the rest would be touch and go.

The tiredness hit on the drive back home, and I slept right through, then slept again till dinner time at home. Didn't even bother with the 2l of water I was suggested to drink...

This morning, got an sms saying 6 of them were fertilized. Slightly worse rate than last time, but it was more than just 3, so happy at this stage. Transfer booked for Sunday. I'll keep you all posted of course.